Gym Buddy J forced me to try a new gym the other week, SATS Odenplan. It is by far more butch then our usual gym. To be ultra cool, do combine these four things.
Very, very different from our usual gym. Very.
In a previous post, I linked to a gay christian gym blog. Here is a quote from that regarding gym fashion:
“Choose clothes by color first, then style. If you are unsure what colors look good on you, go shopping, not to buy, but to find out what looks good on you. Choose colors that accentuate your skin and hair tones, and avoid colors that are similar to your skin and hair tones. For example, if your skin has yellow tones, avoid yellow or green (which has yellow in it) clothing, if you have red hair avoid bright reds, choose more brick or orange reds, choose blue clothes to match your blue eyes, or black clothes to match your black hair. Before I fully liked and accepted myself, I dressed in clothing colors of black, browns, grays, and blues. The clothing you wear may reflects your inner self, or they may be the colors in which you look your best.”
It begins with a discussion on gym fashion (he like all other gay men, he recommends Abercrombie & Fitch), then he moves on to… tuxedos and underwear.
“Or consider boxers; they give you the ability to play with fashion and fun, with plaids, patterns, and even cute animals or cartoon characters.”
Read the full story here!
It was not as bad as last time when I fell naked on the floor outside the showers, nipples to the wind. But you still feel like a fool you are smooooothly lifting a 32 kg kettlebell, trying to find a free space and wind up hitting your head on a barbell. The panic, did anyone see? I looked around and yes. They saw. And the weird thing, I tried to look like it did not hurt.
It was two days ago. And the bump on my forehead is still very much visible. And I am still sore. Well, I should be happy that I did not drop the kettlebell on my foot. But the humiliation…
“As a Gay Christian in a gym, seeing someone unclothed is a part of gym life. You are in an environment devoted to the human body, health, and fitness. More than likely you will see and be around unclothed people of the same gender. You may accidentally see someone with no clothes on who is of the opposite gender. A woman may accidentally expose a breast while lifting weights. You may walk by a guy on the floor doing his stomach exercises, and noticed he had an erection. You may see a guy wearing shorts lying on a bench, accidentally see up the leg, and notice he is wearing nothing underneath. Oops.”
Read the blog here, it is truly… weird.
At my department at The University of Uppsala they were very rigid about certain things. When I wrote my final paper, I was instructed that I should start with an assumption based on a theoretical framework, the formula should be formulated like “The higher something something, the less something something.” And after formulating that, I would try that assumption.
If I would do something similar for a gym setting, my assumption would be “The more masculine a guy is, the less likely he is to put the dumbbells back in their right places.”.
I think alot about the rules of the gym. The written rules are no fun, obviously. But the unwritten ones… Like if your naked butt, by accident, stroke another naked butt in the gym shower, do you apologize? If so, how does one do that?
“How embarrassing, like my butt touched your butt, and we’re naked, and I see you all the time here here… my name is…” No, making too much of a deal of it.
How about “Well look at that, my butt thought you were my towel.” Ah, trying to make a joke! No. Will not do… Or “Oh, I’m sorry. It has no manners.” No. No. I give up.
Maybe one should just blame the other guy? “Is your butt trying to tell me something?”. And hope for the best.
I could not stop staring at him and I did not understand why. He was not particularly hot or cute. I had seen him before and did not care for him much. But now… regular tee and shorts and… yes. Gravity boots.
Vague memories of teenage fantasies… George Michael’s Freedom 90 came out when I was in my mid-teens. Half way through the video there was this hot guy wearing gravity boots, he was hanging up side down. A minute later, he was walking in white boxers scratching his ass. Back in 1990, that was porn to me.
So now what? Should I get a pair of gravity boots, either for work out or to wear at the next fetish party? Or just leave it and cherish the vague memory.
Stockholm Gym Syndrome is NOT nominated in the category Work out blog of the year at the Finest Awards. Hurt. I’m HURT. Or am I?
Katrin Zytomierska (m) is nominated for best “personal blog”. Yes, Katrin, the person who wrote on her blog “Jag önskar henne allt ont och jag kommer aldrig tillåta henne ett liv i Sverige.” about a women from Poland working for her as a nanny.
PS The Swedish Conservative Party, Moderaterna, cleared their website from any traces of her working for them. Read about it here.
Humiliation has always been my cup of tea. The other day, I attended a Street Dance class. Go ahead and laugh. I did it. I did it all, including The Running Man.
And yes, I was the only man attending the class.
PS. I am waiting for the official Tecktonic class.
Four strangers in the sauna. Long silence.
Man 1: Watching the handball game tonight?
Silence. Awkwardness.
Man 2: No.
Man 1: I don’t really watch much. But when you get into the game…
Silence.
Man 1: Everyone is different…
Man 2 and 3 leaves. Then I leave.
Silence. Exit.
THE END
