1. Don’t make fun of the equipment.

Gym equipments are not toys. Lift those weights, do not pretend that the deltoid mashine you are about to use actually is one of those cool combat robots from Aliens.

2. Never laugh, not even a little

Laughing is a major no no. It signals that you are not taking your workout seriously. And seriousness is important, I hear.

3. Do not dance in the room with free weights

Then people might thing that you are having fun, see above. And also, people might think that you are gay. And being straight acting is key to stay on top of the hierarchy of the gym.

4. Don’t tell your gym buddy that the song being played is “our song”

People might think you and your gym buddy are going out. Which decreases the chance of a flirt with some cute Talulah.