A few weeks back, I was laying on my back on a bench working my lower abs. While I was resting between two sets, a guy in his early 30s decided to do curls next to me. Actually, not next to me, more sort of over me. When I looked up, his crotch was literally over my head and I could smell his ball breath. Since I am an angel of politeness I said nothing and just moved my bench a bit, what I should have said was naturally “Are you about to teabag me, dear? Please keep in mind, shower first, teabagging later.”

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