The first thing I heard was the giggeling, the giggeling of two guys in love. Naaaaw-ness came to mind and I smiled. I turned around to see the cute couple and… oh! Wait, is not that douchebag that dated… and the other one had… with… Yes. I did not know them, but I sure knew of them. Here it goes.

Douchebag nr 1: It was the day after new years a few years back. A friend texted me and asked me if he could come over since he was feeling low. Fifteen minutes later he was laying in my sofa and told me that he had met this guy on Grindr and he was going there to show off his oral skills. But the guy did not seem too interested in oral and decided to go anal instead and without any notification just shoved his dick into my friend, fucked him hard a few times without condom or lube until my friend managed to get out of the situation. Rude. My friend was then asked to leave, as he had done something wrong. This guy was obviously a doucebag, who just by accident tried to pull me the week after. It was a highly unsuccessful attempt.

Douchebag nr 2: Another friend hooked up with a jock, a true jock. During the date, he did some minor douchebag things which I will not bore you with. I will go straight to the point. In bed, kissing, the douchebag stopped and looked into my friends eyes and said: “Sorry, I don’t do fat dudes.” Rude.

These two douchebags are now in love. I truly hope that they stay together monogamously forever, making each others lives miserable instead of fucking with my friends.