I have made a list of the prominent Marys at my main gym since 2011. Here is the 2015 edition. The handsome guy is Russel Tovey, it will make sense later on in the text.


  • No 1 aka Arty Mary aka My future husband 1, an artist that I have been introduced to but he doesn’t remember. Too bad. Hot! Hot! Hot!
  • No 2 aka Sour Puss, cute, getting buffed, but looks like a sour puss!
  • No 3 aka The German, never smiles, never talks to anyone. Just looks like a German God.
  • No 4 aka Fashion Lucy, as in trying to be fashion but really is not.
  • No 5 aka “Yourfriend”, ex dancer and very flirty. Very flirty. UPDATE He is the one shaving his balls in the showers.
  • No 6 aka Rude Muscle Mary, read more about him here.
  • No 7 aka Garbage boy hangaround. The name says it all. Read more about him here.
  • No 9 aka Rude Muscle Mary 2, read more about him here.
  • No 10 aka Green Pants Mary aka My future husband 2. The fabric on his shorts is so thin. So thin.
  • No 11 aka Dorian Gray, a lawer friend of mine who still looks like he is 22 despite the fact that he has passed 30. Bastard.
  • No 12 aka The Politician. One day I will release compromising photos from those sweet days of youth.
  • No 13 aka Mr Flip Flop. I see him at the gym every time I am there. But I rarely see him working out. He spend most of his time in the shower trying to flirt with straight guys.
  • No 14 aka The Maladjusted Mary. I see him once a week in his red cap walking around looking awkward, looking around and sometimes winks at hot guys like a Warner Bros Cartoon. I have never seen him touch a weight.
  • No 15 aka The Repugnant One. According to politician Jim Wells at least. I would not call him “repugnant”. At all.
  • No 16 & 17 aka The Douchebags. Read more about them here.
  • No 18 aka Mr Ebay. He started to talk to me about something and we ended up talking about on-line shopping for three minutes. Now, this is his opening topic every time I see him.
  • No 19 & 20 aka The Fashion Gays! These Marys attend Body Pump class in black caps, channeling Dior Homme AW2012 with every bicep curl. I saw them out clubbing last night, they wore the same caps.

New ones

  • No 21 aka The Daddie, not as in gay slang ‘daddie’ but an actual father. He and his celeb boyfriend have a kid together, and I feel like a pretty piece of flesh in his presence. No shame what so ever…
  • No 22 & 22 aka The Not Age Appropriate Ones. I do reject the whole concept of dress according to your age. However, there is difference between not care about how you ‘should’ dress and dress to pass as younger by shopping at American Apparel.
  • No 23 aka Ear Realness. Russel Tovey from HBO’s Looking has nothing on this guy, and I adore them. The ears, that is. I saw him on Tinder a while ago, but no match…
  • No 24 aka Butchness. And the problem is, he is probably proud of his masculinity and the fact that he passes as straight. To quote his Grindr profile “masc 4 masc”. He is one of the gays I was referring to in this post on why, oh why, do one choose a hot PT.
  • No 25 aka The One With The Huge Gym Bag. There is a trend with some of the more ambitious gym guys to bring their huge gym bag with them instead of putting it into the lockers (which will fit the bag, at least at my gym). I have no idea why they do that and why their bag is so big since it usually pretty empty, expect for at least two kinds of work out supplements. But I guess it gives you the look that you are a gym guy and you take your work out seriously.