Once upon a time when you wanted something to sound cool and futuristic you added  words like Hyper (as in Hyper Island) or Tronic (as in Technotronic) or Cyber (as in 90s London club wear brand Cyberdog). One would have hoped that those days were gone, wouldn’t one? Yes, one would. But no.

McFit, my home here in Berlin has got something called Cyber Workout which is basically classes of yoga, spinning et cetera and the concept is 55 minutes of pre-recorded videos on a huge screen beginning every hour. The benefit for the gym is obvious; it is cheap since you do not have to pay people more than the production costs, which are spit between all the branches of McFit. The benefits for us as consumers are that you can pretty much choose exactly when to work out and you do not have to pre-book  since, as far as I know, the classes are never full.

How was it? I am glad you asked. I attended Cyber Spinning the other day and the class was led by a fit German guy who present himself as “Hannes” via his headset. That is all the headset is used for throughout the class, except for recording his breath… weird hearing his breath, but the instructions came from a voice over. A very typical German voiceover i would say, you can really hear him dubbing Daniel Craig, Ian McKellen AND all the kids in Fuller House.

And then we have the gaze that would make any POV porn star absolutely green of envy. The gaze freaked me out and after 30 min I had to leave the class and finish my cardio workout in another room. If my self-hatred is big enough, I will attend some other Cyber Workout next week. To be continued…

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